Friction & Flowering
Dancing our way through the becoming
I feel the tug of war between warm and cool, between connecting in and connecting out, between surrender and taking action, between slowing down and mobilizing…
Spring is indeed here, the daffodils and the hyacinths are coming into bloom and the celandine is taking over the yard. And yet, somehow, the next steps for me are not yet clear; somehow there is still fogginess and unreadiness to mobilize into decisive action, even a need for rest. There has been so much churning in the natural world, the cosmic world, the social/political world, and even in my personal world. The churn can be tiring, and I still sit with the question of what to do while the energies are still on spin cycle, and there’s some rinsing to be done.
What I find myself doing is allowing as much as I can – allowing myself to fall alseep when I need rest, to be carried by the energy of the day even if I don’t know where it’s going, to release control a little bit more, and to hold myself gently when I cling tight in hopes of directing the process. There is no directing the process of flowering – I plant the seed, I give it what it needs for nourishment, and then I wait and I let the unfolding happen. Maybe I think I have a sense of which day the bud will open and what the color will look like, but it’s always as if it’s happened while I’ve been sleeping. One day it’s just a hint of itself pushing through the green sepals (a new word I learned today), and then the next day a full flower is there, a pleasant surprise to my weary and sleepy eyes.
And so it is with my own internal process – I see the colors emerging, I know the time and weather is ripe for development and flowering, but I cannot rush the process and I cannot predict each element of the outcome. My work in this moment is to take care and allow, to give space while also paying attention, to move and to rest as my body determines, to dream in the moonlight knowing one day the flower will be shining in the morning sun.
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